Good Boss Vs. Bad Boss

When assessing your actions, your performance etc. do you tend to be highly-critical of yourself? Or, on the contrary, are you the kind of person who focuses on the good and finds it hard to take an honest look at what you could improve?

Self-evaluation is an important part of growth. Whether it be for professional or personal reasons, assessing what you did well and what you can improve is crucial to learning and growing as a person. And, as with everything, it’s about finding a healthy balance in the way you look at things. However, most people tend to be polarised, i.e. they are excessively self-critical or the complete opposite.

As part of my training as a Bioneuroemotion practitioner and my work with Enric Corbera Institute, I am required to periodically evaluate my sessions. It’s a must and a great exercise to keep improving my services, as well as highlighting areas I can improve in my own life. As the saying goes: the way we do anything, is how we do everything. So, a professional self-evaluation is also a great personal assessment tool. Personally, I tend to be overly self-critical and it is a trait that I have been increasingly aware of and that I am looking to learn from. Wherever there is an imbalance, there is a growth opportunity, right?

Therefore, a few weeks ago I discussed this issue with a good friend of mine, who also struggles with self-criticism in her self-evaluations as a coach, despite being a very successful one. As a result, we ended up watching a training together, which I loved and wanted to share with you to give you some extra mindset tips for self-assessment. 

Most of us have come across a boss, superior, teacher etc. who we disliked for the way we felt they treated us. I’d like you to think about that person and write a list that best describes their behaviour and why you think they were a “bad boss”.  

For example:

• Focused on my weak points 
• Never praised me
• Didn’t give any constructive criticism 
• Put me down, sometimes in front of others 
• Only saw my mistakes
• Didn’t believe in me and my abilities 
• Didn’t offer support

Now I’d like you to think about a boss, superior, mentor etc.  you feel really helped you grow and thrive. Now, draw another list next to the first one and outline their “good boss” qualities.

For example: 

• Encouraged me 
• Taught me to learn from my mistakes 
• Encouraged me to take risks and make mistakes as part of my learning process
• Praised my achievements 
• Was supportive 
• Gave constructive criticism 
• I didn’t feel judged when I made a mistake 
• Really made me feel that I was capable of learning and growing 
• Valued my efforts 
• Listened to me

Now I would like you to look at both lists and think about what kind of boss you are to yourself. What qualities have you projected in either of those two bosses? Which ones do you want to start taking on and which one do you want to drop or do a little less of? 

And next time, you find yourself assessing anything you do, think about what kind of boss you want to be. Then, say to yourself: how can I help myself grow from this situation? If you tend to be unforgiving or harsh towards yourself, soften your gaze. If, on the other hand, you are reluctant to see your mistakes, ask yourself: how am I stunting my growth by refusing to look at what is? How can I be kind to myself, by facing my mistakes and learning from them?

This simple projection exercise is a powerful tool you can incorporate in many aspects of your life. When you understand that the way you perceive others is a projection of your own internal state, you can stop focusing on the effect of your problems and address the cause that lies within you. That’s when true growth happens. 

Are you ready to start taking ownership for your growth and act as a true boss?

​Ps: if you need a further hand to look at your projections from an objective perspective, BioNeuroEmotion (BNE) is a wonderful method that will help you shift your perspective, so you can foster meaningful changes in your life, by transforming your conflicts into stepping stones for growth. My mission is to help you move beyond your perceived limitations, tap into your intrinsic wisdom and make conscious choices so you can live your life fully. You can find out more about my work and book a session here.