If there is something that we have all been reminded of over the past years, more than ever, is that life is short, unpredictable and that it will end for every single one of us at some point. If you think about it, similarly to the prospect of our own demise or unavoidable death, there is something awe inspiring about any kind of crisis, whether it be personal or global. Yes, you read me right. I said awe inspiring! Because, with the right mindset, it can push us to want to live life fully, to make the most out of it, instead of wasting it away as if it was never going to end. Sometimes, the best thing that can happen to us is to go through a massive crisis, because it jolts us right out of our sleep walking stupor and pushes us out of our comfort zone. Take COVID for example, there are countless accounts of people who used lockdown as their own wake up call. They used their time wisely, learning new skills, growing new businesses often after losing their jobs, sorting out their mental health, mustering the courage to walk out of dead end relationships or strengthen them, you name it. The COVID crisis highlighted the areas in their lives where they had become too comfortable and had been tolerating the intolerable. So, they did something about it. They decided to venture into the unknown and take action to get different results. Often that meant taking risks and failing before they got it right, but they kept going. This is what we call a growth mindset and I believe that anyone can cultivate that kind of outlook in life. A growth mindset teaches you that you can do and even enjoy hard things. The good news is that you don't necessarily have to wait for a crisis to hit you, before you choose to shift your mindset. Believe me it is possible, because I went through that journey myself. And if I was able to do it, anyone can do it. Let me tell you, before I picked up Dr. Carol Dweck's book, Mindset, I didn't even know what the terms fixed and growth mindset meant. So, when I read the description of a fixed mindset I was shocked, as it pretty much described me to a T. Awareness is key right? So just like Lockdown did for many of us, it forced me to take a lovingly long hard look at myself and make the decision to change, to get different results. What is the difference between a fixed mindset and a growth one? Well in a nutshell, a fixed mindset sees failure, setbacks, crisis. etc as problems to be avoided, whilst a growth mindset sees them as opportunities for growth. Below are a list of some of the characteristics that set both perspectives apart: I like to see both columns as opposite polarities, and integrating them both is a way to find your personal balance. Some situations, for example, will call for more caution and others will invite you to take more risks, but chances are that if you are reading this, you have swayed far down the end of the fixed mindset spectrum and are looking to get unstuck.
As I said, awareness is key, and just noticing your tendency to prioritise safety and comfort over growth is a huge step in and of itself. The second step is making the decision to change. Notice that I said DECIDING to change, not trying to change. Making that decision is crucial, because in order to get unstuck you have to accept to go through some level of discomfort. In fact, the more comfortable you decide to get with discomfort the better. So if you are just dipping your toes in at this point, you are not going to get very far. Change requires a level of commitment that only you can take on. Nobody else can do that for you. That's why a crisis, an illness, a loss can be so life changing because there is no other alternative than to make that decision. But, do you really want to wait for that to happen? In his thought provoking book, Four Thousand Weeks, Oliver Burkeman asks: Where in your life or work are you currently pursuing comfort when what is called for is a little discomfort? Committing to something means taking the risk that it might fail so we naturally tend to make decisions that prioritise anxiety avoidance: procrastination, distraction, commitment avoidance, taking on too many projects at once, are all ways to maintain the illusion that you are in charge of things. So is compulsive worrying! Ask yourself, does this choice diminish me (stunt my growth) or enlarge me (allow me to grow)? Choose uncomfortable enlargement over comfortable diminishment whenever you can! Once you make that decision, I guarantee you that, since your focus will be set on it, you will come across the tools to start the process, whether it be through books, podcasts, chats with friends, and even strangers, or YouTube videos that randomly pop up in your feed etc. And, most likely, you will also generate experiences that will help you implement what you have learned. In my upcoming podcast episode: Why Failure Is The Way Forward, I will share some of the tools and hacks that helped me shift my mindset. The episode will be released on the 14th of December. So, please feel free to listen in then. To access the full details, click here. The one thing that I will say, is that cultivating a growth mindset is a life long habit, and being prepared to fail even at that, is a prerequisite to continue to grow and yield different results for yourself. Are you ready and committed to do that?
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Hi, I´m DannieA fellow soul seeker, blogger & certified BioNeuroEmotion® (BNE) practitioner who is passionate about growing, self actualising & learning in order to lead a more coherent/conscious life and help others do the same. Archives
January 2023
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